To me, having sex without lube is like brushing your teeth without water. It might get the job done, but the result is sticky, somewhat painful, and definitely not refreshing. Lube isn't just a luxury waiting for the "right moment"; it's essential for great bedroom pleasure. Whether you're indulging in self-pleasure, with a partner, or even multiple partners, an intimate lubricant—be it silicone or water-based—is a must-have. It's all about personal preference.

No bedroom is complete without at least one or two varieties of lube, especially if you're planning to use sex toys. (Everyone should be using sex toys, but that's another story.) For me, lube is as crucial for sex as condoms and clean hands. If I arrive at someone’s house for a good time and there’s no lube on the bedside table, I’m out of there.

I was surprised to learn that not everyone shares my view. In my experience, lube is as common as bedsheets and pillows. If you haven't tried lube before or have reservations, it’s not your fault. There are powerful forces trying to convince you to go without it—forces that only lead to discomfort.

One such force is misogyny, which suggests that using lube is a failure on your part or your partner's. It whispers: "How dare you not get wetter; there must be something wrong with your body." (Don’t listen to it!) Another culprit is machismo, which claims that using lube means you're a bad lover who can't excite your partner. It's all nonsense. There's nothing wrong with your body or your technique. Sometimes, bodies don’t act as we want them to, and genitals don’t always behave like they do in movies, TV, books, and porn. Remember, those are fake; we are not.

It’s 2024. Can we stop pretending that people shouldn’t enjoy sexual pleasure? Because it is important. Let's leave that absurd nonsense behind.

Anyone who has ever self-pleasured knows that a little extra something (saliva, natural moisture, etc.) enhances the experience. And feeling good is the whole point! High-quality water-based or silicone-based lubes can be like rocket fuel for your sexual pleasure. They prevent chafing and microscopic tears on your most sensitive parts, making everything feel so much better. Lube is like the MSG of sex—it enhances everything, yet some people are weirdly afraid of it.

So, where do you start? Easy: order yourself a bottle of any unscented, unflavored, glycerine-free, water-based lube (like Smooth Natural, RRP $11.99). You don’t want any scent because, in the heat of the moment, it can make things smell weird. (The same goes for flavored lubes.) Ideally, choose lubes with as few ingredients as possible. Keep it simple.

The other major type of lube you'll encounter is silicone-based. These lubes last longer than water-based ones because your body doesn’t absorb them as quickly, making them ideal for anal play and anal sex. However, a big caveat with silicone-based lubes is that you can’t use them with silicone sex toys, as they can degrade over time. If you use silicone lube with a silicone toy, make sure to use a condom. My go-to is Smooth Silicone, RRP $20.00.

Beyond that, my only remaining advice is to play! Play with yourself. Get a lube, set aside some time, grab a favorite toy, and go wild. The best way to learn how to use lubes is through practice. Sex should be easy, friction-free, and feel great—and a good lube will help with all three.